Today...

Took the idea from a friend on Random Tuesday. Not sure what that means to her really? But I think it's just more like what I'm gonna do... Rambling Tuesday. Entries that are not exactly set on a topic and off I go... rambling.

I have our 4 year old foster son home this week. Spring Break. I'm asking though... "where is spring?" We have had a few spring days and things appear to be starting to bloom but it's really cold out lately and the ground is super soggy. I picture spring to be more outdoorsy than it has been but... oh well.

So it's 4 kids this week to entertain. It's surprising how one extra child can create a bit more chaos... not because he's more choatic but because I have grown accustomed to only having 3 on the school days. I have been more rigid on naptime for J. Tonite we will be in the car for a few hours and then maybe at the library for 2? I put dinner in there somewhere. The little ones have a visit with their parents. The last two weeks were 1 hour visits which left us with only that hour to spend on dinner and whatever? I don't know about other people but a visit to the library or anywhere else with dinner and getting everyone in and out of the car and then the extra moments for a lost shoe, a tantrum, potty breaks and that sort of thing doesn't work with only one hour total so we were just eating in the car and getting back to pick up the little ones and on home. If it were not so soggy a park would be nice in one or two hours. We could pick up dinner and eat there. Enough lamenting the weather... it's just annoying me lately. I'm ready to be turning on the air conditioning and complaining about how hot it is!

I have dance tonite too. We have had some time off so I'm out of sync with that. Don't look forward to going back. We are coming closer to the performance. I really felt like I did so much better this year (more confident, got to the right moves quicker, had more fun and didn't stand there crying so often?!) but for some reason there are times when we are practicing I just fall apart. A few things throw me off. First of all she uses different music some weeks and my brain isn't accustomed to changes like that, it's like a stumbling block for me. As well as soon as someone else messes up I mess up. It was hilarious one week when we were practicing she put the least confident dancers up front and we mine-as-well have just done a freefall. I couldn't stop laughing. In any event I'm needing to do my own thing and not watch others. Right now she has placed us in our performance spots so it's beginning to all take shape which helps because she makes it a little more uniform... takes out some of the more obvious falling points for the majority of us and goes over the form so we can tighten up our moves. I don't know though... sometimes I ask myself "what the hell am I doing this for?!" I know the answer. In my child heart I am a dancer and a mover! I can't deny my child self that chance to perform. I would love to act some day... also writing a book?! Who knows I may just do that at some point.

Onward and upward into my day...